


Elias Bouchard Gets a Well Deserved Kick In The Shins

by CalicoCats



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Gen, Probably takes place season 3, second chapter takes place after season 4, violence??? Elias does get kicked in the shins
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-22
Updated: 2019-12-12
Packaged: 2020-10-25 22:22:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20731637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CalicoCats/pseuds/CalicoCats
Summary: Exactly what it says on the tin.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i May write something serious for tma eventually but not today.

Elias has called Jon to his office, probably to gloat or to say something vague and pretentious about how Jon is doing well. Doing well in a “turning into an avatar of the Beholding” sort of way, not a general sense.

When Jon walks in Elias is standing and holding a running tape recorder thoughtfully like he didn’t obviously know Jon was going to be there at 3:26, just a few seconds off from being on the dot. 

Elias turns to face Jon with the beginnings of a condescending sentence, and Jon takes this opportunity to kick Elias in the shins because Elias literally can’t fire him and Jon has almost died on the job enough times that he’s lost count.

Maybe Elias can see everything in the archives, but it apparently didn’t show him that he should have have invested in some shin guards.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The apocalypse happens and Elias still deserves a kick in the shins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In light of the finale i thought I should update this

Elias has anticipated Jon and Martin’s return. He Sees them walking through the halls of what remains of the Magnus Institute with the rest of their ragtag apocalypse team, including Georgie, Daisy, and Basira. 

What he doesn’t See is an angry Melanie King, cut off from Beholding, who has had her hatred for him increase tenfold without the help of the Slaughter.

They barge into his office, swatting at the floating eyes plaguing the institute. Eli—no, Jonah barely gets any time to start his scheduled Extended Monologuing before Melanie jumps out of the group and gives him a swift kick in the leg. 

Jonah crumples because he’s a stuffy old man possessing the body of another old man, and while Beholding gave Jon supernaturally fast healing, it still doesn’t extend that courtesy to Jonah. 

This does not stop the apocalypse or anything of the sort, but it does serve as a morale boost.


	3. in memory of martins knife

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jonah is a mass of eyes now but he can still be kicked

Jonah Magnus, somewhat healed from Melanie’s kick to the leg via leaving Elias’ body altogether and becoming a mass of intertwined eyes, sat upon a throne of varied and horrified eyes. 

Throne was a strong word for the office chair covered in sharpied-on eyes, but a king must have a throne, so Jonah liked to think of it as a throne. Beholding periodically reminded him it was not.

Martin approached him first, followed by the rest of the former Institute employees. Elias noted Melanie this time. She would not catch him off guard again.

Martin handed Jon his gun, ignoring Jon’s protests about still not knowing how to use it, and took another step forward. Jonah had an approximately 15 minute speech about his self imposed monarchy that he had prepared on apocalypse google docs just for this occasion. 

Martin was unfazed by the eyes surrounding them. Understandable, given his time spent with Jon and the unblinking sky. He took a long look at Jonah, who was about 2 minutes into the speech and caught up in focusing on Melanie now, and kicked Jonah in what approximated as his shins. Jonah fell off the office chair, and his paper crown with crudely drawn on eyes crumpled beneath him.

Being underestimated tended to work in your favor in the apocalypse.  The Lonely may counteract the Eye and vice versa, but neither fully protected against Martin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> at the suggestion of adding a martin chapter here’s a martin chapter.

**Author's Note:**

> it’s 1 am. i dont like elias much


End file.
